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A healthy conversation, in addition to exchanging information, also includes listening. Healthy communication is not a contest to see who speaks better, and the silent person is not the one who just “listens and listens”. I often use the characters in QUIET to remind myself to practice listening when communicating.

Anchor 1

Quit talking

Stop talking.

No one can speak and listen at the same time. So, don't be in a hurry to interrupt someone while they're talking. Even if you're disagreeing, let the person say what they mean. If your reaction is disheartening, then even if you "win" the argument, you will lose more valuable things!

Anchor 2

Undivided attention

Full attention

Look the speaker in the eye because you can't work three heads and six hands and still make others think you're listening. Just listen, don't answer the phone or text, don't look away or shift your attention to another conversation. You can only listen deeply when you ignore distractions and let the speaker know that they have your full attention.

Anchor 3

Initiate a neutral position

Start with peace of mind.

Don't think negatively about what others say. Let them relax and have enough time and space to express themselves. Stay calm if someone says something against your will, let them finish talking and don't rush to take a defensive stance. When we let our emotions of anger, fear, and sadness dominate, we easily miss the most important point the speaker wants to convey. That's why there are arguments for hours instead of minutes to express. There are people who need more time, to find the right words. So before responding, give the other person some more time!

Anchor 4

Even ask questions

Ask a related question

Ask questions to better understand the story instead of immediately expressing an opinion. Questions related to the story topic are encouraged over yes or no questions.

Anchor 5

Talk about what they said, give feedback

Focus on what's being said and respond accordingly

When listening, give verbal feedback or nod. If you do not understand, you can ask for more clarification. Repeating what you just heard is also a way of confirming that you are paying attention to what they are saying.

Article source:

Translated by: Pham Nhu Quynh
Translation activities: Compassion Crowdsourcing (See more at:

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